My Life with Tai Chi.

I've traversed a large circle in terms of martial arts. Started with Tai Chi (yang style long form, then the short form under Ben Lo, and over a couple of decades, I've learned and forgotten a variety of sub-styles - all of which were beautiful). During this long path, I realized that I had to learn combat seriously in order to truly understand tai chi. So I started studying Wing Chun, which is also a remarkably beautiful style. Eventually, even Sticky Hands felt too rarified, so I signed up for plain old Western boxing lessons. Funny thing about boxing is that it costs you 30 IQ points to do... I mean, you have to get stupid in order to box effectively. And after taking enough punches to the head, you actually get stupider. Anyway, it was a good no-mind exercise, and everything clicked in an odd way. I saw that combat equals relaxation. Being relaxed in combat allows for greater speed, power and strategy. But it's hard to transcend the fear, you have to get hit until your cells learn that it's okay, you're not gonna die. To not study the combative basis of tai chi is to only see the finger pointing to the moon, and miss the "all the heavenly splendor".

Now that I'm sliding into the second half of my life and fucked up various tendons boxing, I've gone full circle and only do the long form I started with, am studying a little Hsing I and soon Pa Kua to complete the three internal gems. And my favorite practice is I Chuan, standing meditation. The fear of getting in the ring, and the joy of knocking down someone bigger than me, are far behind me now. Instead, I find that I just can't live without the "liquified joy" that the circulation of internal energy can provide.