As a way of wishing you a happy Chinese new year, I thought I'd take a crack at Chinese fortune telling. Below you will find my prediction for the year, based on my rudimentary understanding of feng shui.

Wishing you prosperity, joy, health and love!

Moses

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Predictions for Ji Cho’u, Year of the Ox

According to feng shui theory, the Year 2009 will see a dry and hot year. Fire is the ruling star in 2009 [note: this is why I took a firewalking workshop] and the combination of the Earth element from the Ox means it is a year of productivity. Meaning that Fire energy in the Stars will power a strong productive Earthly Ox. Overall, the Ox is the sign of prosperity through fortitude and hard work, and success in an Ox year needs discipline. It is not the time for unruly behavior, partying and having fun. Well, unless you're a workaholic and work is fun.

The ox year will see a slow moving pace during the beginning of the year – and in general, anything you do will not bear results until autumn. However, every sector will pick up and should improve slowly. This is a spill over from the energy of the Rat year – i.e., the worst economic meltdown of our times! That's the feng shui energy of the world right now... the hardworking Ox is taking over from the mischievous Rat, and he must pull us out of the hole bored by the Rat, during its reign.

I'd like to add that any similarities to presidential administrations is entirely coincidental... however, it should be pointed out that Barack Obama was born in the year of the Ox, and George Bush was born in the year of the Dog. And you might have guessed this, but Dick Cheney was born in the year of the Snake!

Anyway, for us normal working folk, this means that hard work and patience will lead us to a better third quarter year period after some adversity at the onset of the year.

Remember the Ox is an Earth sign animal, and the element that is produced by Earth is Metal. Since autumn belongs to the metal element, the markets should be restored and and positive energy be sensed by the harvest of 2009. But now is the time to sow seeds and roll up our sleeves and work hard!

BUSINESS PREDICTIONS

Fire element businesses – like cosmetics, electrical, computers, restaurants, and airlines – should experience a decent return. However, in the stock market, do not attempt to speculate early in the year. You can possibly catch positive upswings from end of July till the end of the year 2009. Business "energy" should enjoy its most positive time between August and September. Invest cautiously and within your means!

Don't forget that this is a year of fire, so water element businesses will be in conflict with this year's ruling element. These include industries like insurance, shipping, etc. Lee Sing-tong, a third-generation feng shui master in Hong Kong, said China may suffer a water shortage in the next 12 months.

LOVE PREDICTIONS

This is not a good year for love. In the year of the Ox, in general, women will want to bask in luxury, while the men are stressed out about money, working around the clock, and generally in a foul mood. However, the Ox has a lot of base sexual energy (fire inside), so a very hot love affair is quite possible. Just don't expect or demand everlasting love... in fact, relationships have a tendency to turn cold, due to the stubbornness of the Ox.

Also, it is an excellent year for those who were born in the year of monkey – this is your time to shine. For those who were born in the year of pig, this is your ‘run-about’ year – so expect to travel a lot.

Finally, to remain in a state of grace and luck, you should follow these suggestions:

1. Be kind-hearted. Willingness to help others is most crucial to enhance one's personal luck. Get involved in a charity and you will feel that your luck improve.
2. Always say something nice to others and your luck will be better than before.
3. Put water features at the right locations i.e. the southwest and east of your house or office. The water should flow to the direction of your house as water symbolizes wealth.
4. Circulate the auspicious qi at South-East by putting an aquarium, water feature, fan or clock there. South-East is the best location for 2009. If the main door of your house is located at the South-East, open the door wide enough to welcome the auspicious qi. Nevertheless, do not put any rubbish bin at the South-East. Always keep the South-East sector clean.
5. Cleanliness is a must. Do an entire clear-up in your house and you will enjoy better luck right away. [Note: This is why I did a 3 day New Year's cleanup for my house.]
6. The worst sector is the North. Place a metal wind chime there.
7. Avoid any renovation at the North and East sectors of your house.
8. Always keep some money in your pocket or for you shamans... in your medicine bag.

On the Eve of the Presidential Inauguration

When George W. Bush was first elected, I was really quite dismayed because Bush seemed pretty incompetent to me. My litmus test while watching presidential debates is to ask myself - 'Now, if the Board of Directors asked me for my opinion of that candidate as the CEO of their company... what would I say?' Honestly, I'd have to size up Bush as nothing more than a rich man's spoiled son, thin on skills, stacking up a sizeable list of business failures, but still petulantly demanding the presidency as a birthright. More ominously, my gut instinct was that he was not only incompetent, but an alcoholic with something to prove... and willing to bankrupt the company to prove it. 'Run like hell' would be my advice to the Board.

After the election, a knowledgeable Republican friend of mine said to me, "You know what your problem is? You liberals don't stand for anything. That's why you can't win an election." Yeah buddy? And your momma! That's what I thought to myself. What I came up with as a retort was to boldly predict to my pal that by the time Bush left office, even he would sing a different tune. Based on my little gedanken CEO test, I predicted that Bush would make a fine mess of things.

And for eight long years - leading to a case of clinical outrage fatigue - I had to watch my prediction slowly come true. Our man Bush, like a cocaine snorting bull in a china shop, inexorably made a truly fine mess of things. What a legacy! From Bush's Folly in Iraq, to the Katrina debacle, to outing a valuable CIA covert asset out of spite, to losing a PR war against terrorism with the Abu Ghraib fiasco, to a near meltdown of our financial infrastructure... I mean, seriously, if the likes of Alberto Gonzales and Scott McClellan have written tell-all's to disavow and distance themselves from Bush... this has gotta be an absolute masterpiece of pure fuck-up. I mean, just about the only underling from Bush's administration not writing a tell-all is Michael Connell.

Anyway, tonight, on the eve of Barack Obama's inauguration, I am happy to report that not only does my Republican pal finally admit that I was right about Bush... but he's now miraculously an Obama supporter. What's more, I can now see that he was also right eight years ago. We liberals had lost our way, we forgot what we stood for, and as a consequence, we have had to wander lost in the wilderness for eight long years. But now we do. Now we know that we stand for all the things that are good in the world - things like truth, justice, equality, and liberty. Now we know that we stand for the rights provided in the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Now we know that we stand for building a better world.

So now, older and wiser, I would like to make another prediction - this time about Barack Obama. I predict that he may stumble, but he'll never fall - and that he will grow and mature and slowly transform himself into one of the greatest Presidents of all time. Why do I say this? Because of my CEO test - if a Board of Directors asked me for my opinion of Obama as CEO, I'd immediately say 'YES! whatever it takes, hire this man... he will bring your company to greatness.'

My take on Obama was that instead of being a rich man's spoiled son like Bush, Obama is, well, let me put it this way - Obama is to America what Steve Jobs is to Apple. Obama is absolutely brilliant as an innovator. He's totally cool and is pals with movie stars. He's focused pragmatically on results and revenue growth. He thinks different. Yes, like Jobs, Barack Obama has a reality distortion field, but he'll use it to revive the market cap of the U.S of A. But most importantly, like Steve Jobs, Barack Obama is bringing the power of the government to the rest of us.

So instead of John Hodgman and Justin Long in those cute Apple ads, we can use John McCain as PC and Barack Obama as Mac. Oh, and Bush is Vista. This sort of fits because under Bush and Cheney, the goal was for America to be all powerful and feared, like you-know-who. With Obama, our government is suddenly Redesigned. Reengineered, Re-everythinged. Even his Cabinet is like a nano-chromatic rainbow gathering, they're the best iPods ever! And reminiscent of the iPhone's debut, Obama's inauguration draws a crowd of millions, all giddy as Mac fans talking about multi-touch and GPS and hey, have you checked out the App Store lately? That's right! Say hello to iGovernment! Check out my cool new iBama! America is cool again!

All I can say is... our stock price is going up, baby, up!

I was in a state of absolute bliss today, riding my bike along a quiet country road. The first warm day of the year. It was a perfect day, with the air crisp and clear. And a couple of miles into it, it hits. I am suddenly in this exquisite and delicious state of consciousness – a sense of profound freedom and sheer joy that is produced when my butt hits the saddle of my Kestrel road bike. It's a state of bike saddle satori, when everything in the world feels just right. And even if it isn't, that's just right too. It's all about letting yourself go, full tilt boogie. It's programming that's deep in my genes that's screaming at me... come on, man... don't ever wear a suit... don't ever give into the rat race... don't ever let yourself do anything that isn't an adventure.... just put your butt in that saddle, let go and fly away!

The feeling is so special and overwhelming, that I am compelled to analyze it. But now that I'm home and sitting at the computer, what else can I do? So here I am, poking at it and dissecting it. So how did it happen? What did it feel like exactly? What does it mean? How was it different from all the other times I've biked?

Well, I think the most important factor was that it was the first warm day, after months and months of cold weather, the flu and a global travel schedule that kept me on a different kind of road. I've been traveling extensively for work, and just haven't been able to log the miles that I need on my bike. Then... add a case of dysentery from Cairo, and a misbegottten ride during the coldest day in December that almost gave me frostbite, and suddenly, you can see how that first warm day can bring it all back. It was almost 70˚F today, but still, unwilling to trust the sun, I started out with a windbreaker. It wasn't long before the windbreaker came off and I was flying down hills in sheer joy... like I was thirteen again.

But it's more than that. This ride has kindled the oddest emotions within. I had a distinct feeling of... What? Nostalgia? And it's blended with... romance! Yeah, that's it. It's as if I had forgotten how much I missed biking, and suddenly I realized that I'm in love with biking as if this sports activity were a person. Now throw in a dash of endorphins earned by breaking through the wall, and what resulted was like meeting an old flame again after twenty years and all these uncontrollable feelings gush out and next thing I know I'm on a plane to Paris. But in this case, here I am, flying down a hill at 30 mph, iPod playing my favorite workout tunes, the wind rushing against my face. Every cell is crying out – I am deeply and madly in love with biking. At this very moment, butt off the saddle and pumping up a hill, feet locked into the clipless pedals, not a care in the world... I am in love with life. And the most concrete feeling is the wind in my face. It's fresh and clean and, I guess, full of negative ions because I'm riding next to a lake. But why? Why is this wind on my cheek is making me so emotional?

This joy of being alive, which has mixed with neuroadrenaline and memories of childhood, now has a component of sadness in it. Then inexplicably, I remember my father, who passed away long ago. So when I get home, I remember something. You see, my father was an explorer, and a book was published in the 1940s about an expedition he was on... it was called The Marching Wind. As soon as I get home, before I get into the shower, I go to the bookcase where I keep the book, and I open up the very last page of the book. And there it is... it reads – "Solomon and I whiled away the time talking about Amne Machin and our friends. Oddly enough, the thing that he remembered most was those days when we had a steady marching wind on the cheek." [Note: Solomon was my dad. The book is back in print, amazingly, and you can get it at Amazon.]

Ah, so that's it. In a simple bike ride, my entire life is recalled and folded back onto itself. For some reason, I can see the entire macrocosm of the universe, spinning on the rims of my bike. It all makes sense, this profusion of emotions. It all fits and provides the perfect conclusion to the perfect ride.

Anyway, that's what it felt like. Today.

I dunno why, but here's my astrological reading:


Valid during several days: This is a time of high energy and independent initiative. You feel very self-confident and capable of tackling almost anything within reason. It is a good time to start a project, and most activities that you take up now should have a successful outcome. However, you must take some positive action in order to get the most out of this influence.

You are unusually clear now about what you intend to do in any situation. Your will is strong, and you aim at achieving certain very definite goals. You can act decisively and with conviction. Under an influence like this you can convince other people of your point of view and get them to follow your lead. In fact, this is an unusually good time for working with other people because you can get others to identify their interests with yours. Everything you do is aimed at enlarging your sphere of interests. You do not act out of petty motives, always having high-minded and high- level goals in mind. Others will respect your obvious integrity, which will make them more willing to help you.

Professional success is likely at this time, because of your excellent sense of timing and your ability to take advantage of every opportunity that comes along. You should be able to advance yourself without alienating others. They will recognize that your success is well deserved.